Dear: [ ] Idiot [ ] 3L33T D00D [ ] Spammer [ ] Luser [ ] Religious Nut [X] Clueless Newbie [ ] Whiner [ ] Kook [ ] Pre-teen [ ] Asshole [ ] Yuppie [ ] Marketroid [ ] Management Baboon [ ] Racist [ ] Other: I took exception to your recent [ ] post/spam to the mailinglist\newsgroup of choice. [ ] email. It was (check all that apply): [ ] lame. [ ] stupid. [ ] ignorant. [ ] much longer than any worthwhile thought of which you may be capable. Your attention is drawn to the fact that: [ ] You started a long, stupid thread [ ] You continued spreading a long stupid thread [ ] You crossposted a long, stupid thread [ ] You are the subject of a long, stupid thread [ ] What you posted has been done before. [ ] Not only that, it was also done better the last time. [ ] You made a ridiculously off topic post to a newsgroup. [ ] You made a ridiculously off topic post to numerous news groups. [ ] Your post, though on-topic, lacked even the coherency of a chimp banging randomly on a keyboard. [ ] You broke Godwin's Law (USENET RULE #6) by invoking Hitler or the Nazi's [ ] But you failed to acknowledge the subsequent death of the thread. [ ] You obviously don't know how to read your newsgroups line. [ ] You self-rightously impose your religious beliefs on others. [ ] You posted asking for Warez sites. [ ] You posted a "Check out my Web Page" article. [ ] Off-topic. [ ] And it sucked. [ ] Your post originated from ix.netcom.com [ ] Your post originated from compuserve.com [ ] Your post originated from aol.com/aol.net. [ ] Your post referred to the newsgroup as a Board, BBoard, BBS, Notesfile or echo. [ ] Your post contained commercial advertising. [ ] The advertising was for a web page. [ ] The advertisemet was for MAKE.MONEY.FAST THE FINE FOR THIS IS $20. Please send money order immediately to: Usenet News Network Security & Standards Patrol PO Box 526 Cedarburg, WI 53012 or your posting privileges will be cancelled. [ ] Your post contained spelling errors. [ ] Your post contained grammatical errors. [ ] Your post made use of eLiTe CaPiTaLiZaTiOn, which you think is cool. [ ] You posted SCREAMING in RANDOM CAPS for NO APPARENT REASON. [ ] Your post contained pointless " invaluable wisdom " about: [ ] Life [ ] Relationships [ ] Religion [ ] DOS [ ] Windoze 9x/NT [ ] Unix [ ] Linux [ ] Other: [ ] And you thought you were the first person ever to have gained this amazing information and just _had_ to post a troll to every related newsgroup about it. [ ] Your lines are 80 columns wide or wider. [ ] Your margin settings (or lack of) make your post unreadable. [ ] Your post contained the word(s)/phrase(s): (Check all that apply) [ ] Surf the Net [ ] Surf the Web [ ] Hacker [ ] Warez [ ] Cyber_______ (insert suffix here) [ ] Information Superhighway [ ] \C\a\b\a\l [ ] You posted a "newgroup" message without Leader Kibo's permission. [ ] Your post was an obvious forgery. [ ] It was done clumsily. [ ] And was easily traceable. [ ] You have a lame login name. [ ] Your machine has a stupid name. [ ] You quoted an article/letter in followup and added no new text. [ ] You followed-up with only "Me, too!!!" added. [ ] you also quoted the entire original message. [ ] You predicted the "Imminent Death of the Net[tm]". [ ] You asked for replies via email because you "don't read this group". [ ] You flamed someone who has been around far longer than you. [ ] You flamed someone who is far more intelligent and witty than you. [ ] You failed to check the "Followups-To:" line. [ ] And it included misc.test [ ] Your .sig is ridiculous because [ ] You write it by hand every time. [ ] Your .sig is longer than 6 lines. [ ] And your newsreader truncated it. [ ] You listed ___ snail mail address(es). [ ] You listed ___ phone numbers for people to use in prank calls. [ ] It was listed twice because of your inability to configure your newsreader. [ ] You included a stupid disclaimer. [ ] your pathetic attempt at being witty in the disclaimer failed. [ ] Miserably. [ ] your .sig should make your company disclaim YOU. [ ] You included: (Mark all that apply) [ ] a Bible quote [ ] more than one [ ] a stupid self-quote. [ ] a stupid quote from a net.nobody. [ ] any reference to any TV talk show host. [ ] a set of instructions for something as stupid as your post. [ ] any reference to Team OS/2 or Win9x [ ] lame ASCII graphics. [ ] Your USENET posting/email contained HTML tags. [ ] And you think this makes you cool. [ ] And they were incorrect. [ ] You have offended the Dark Lord Satan. [ ] You didn't do anything specific, but appear to be so generally worthless that you are being flamed anyway. Furthermore: [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of uk.comp.os.linux. [ ] You have greatly misunderstood the purpose of the net. [ ] You, quite simply, misunderstand. [ ] You are a loser. [ ] Your parietal-lobe lobotomy is showing through. [ ] Again. [ ] *plonk* [ ] All of this has been pointed out to you before. It is recommended that you: (Mark all that apply) [ ] Get beaten. [ ] Get beaten roundly. [ ] Stop Trolling. [ ] submit yourself to the Organ Vats for immediate "reconstitution." [ ] contract e bola. [ ] get a gun and shoot yourself. [ ] stop reading Usenet news and get a life. [ ] stop sending email and get a life. [ ] consume excrement. [ ] consume excrement and thus expire. [ ] insert your post up your anus with the axis of greatest longitude perpendicular to the axis of insertion. [ ] Without lubrication. [ ] and wrapped in barbed-wire. [ ] Use arsenic-laced punch to eradicate yourself, immediate antecendents, relatives and any progeney you may accidentally have spawned. [ ] Shove your testicles far enough into your torso that you are forced to see through your vas deferens. In closing: (Mark all that apply) [ ] Blow me. [ ] Go to Hell. [ ] I pity your dog. [ ] Your momma is so fat/ugly/disgusting that etc.,. [ ] Please contemplate suicide. [ ] Get a life. [ ] Get tossed. [ ] Learn from this experience and put your brain into gear before posting. [ ] All of the above. [ ] Other: _You are f***ing stupid__